Do you know what this is?

Do you want to buy it then?

No feet!

Please do not put severed feet in the freezer!

Freaking Yummy.

I am almost ashamed of how much I like chocolate pudding.

Option B

Turn the key and choose option B.

Fw: Stupid Hail.

It is gorgeous out.

Somebody should declare that the weather always be at least this nice, or force someone to create a $20 billion slush fund to pay me out of when its not.

Optimism...

"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."

@shitmydadsays

Third grade baseball

So I am sitting behind home plate watching my youngest son's team playing baseball. Every once in awhile, the pitcher throws a ball completely behind the batter. He doesn't have to move, he just let's it go behind him. So is that a pitch that is so inside, its outside?

Everyone is at lunch but me...

I go to lunch too early...

Focus.

Does it look like I have it? Like I am concentrating? I am not. Squirrel!

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I am kind of good looking...

Lisa is drinking at work again.

Change is hard...

So I used to have my security keycard in my wallet. It made getting into my office as simple as shifting my hip over by the card reader, no thought process, no hand eye coordination required.
Today the security department came around and gave us all these handy zip cord badge holders. Now I look like a fool when I thrust my ass toward the card reader and nothing happens.

Dreary day...

Best days for massive amounts of indoor productivity.

Everyone has stuff...

Sometimes when your stuff gets to be too much, look around and remember that everyone has stuff. Some of theirs might be worse than yours. Either way, its ok.

Geek Squad

Not the Bestbuy version, my company's version.

I lied to myself...

Back a few weeks ago when the price of a Twix bar went up a dime to $0.85 I told myself I wasn't going to buy them out if the vending machine anymore. Liar.

Beautiful day!

Should be working outside, but I'm not.

Think, then speak...

I come into work thru the parking garage, which is technically the basement of the building I work in. When the elevator opened this morning a young lady started to step out, and the realized she had gotten on a down elevator from the first floor. We both work on the third floor for different companies.
So guess what I said as she realized her mistake and was already embarrassed enough?
"It went down on ya, huh?"
She either didn't notice how wrong that sounded, or made this remark to cover it up, "That's ok, I like to ride the elevator."
Oh my, that actually sounds as bad as what I said.
You just have to love Mondays.

The night before

The night before he became 'Veggie Monster.'

Midday traffic

North 494 at Bass Lake Road is not my favorite.

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