April 14, 2005

Uh, no lighters on airplanes anymore....

TSA Screener: Sorry sir, you'll have to surrender that cigarette lighter before you go through.
Air Traveler: Why?
TSA Screener: Because we are now enforcing a ban on cigarette lighters.
Air Traveler: Why?
TSA Screener: If you have a lighter, you could light explosives.
Air Traveler: Aren't you going to take away my explosives?
TSA Screener: Do you have any explosives?
Air Traveler: No, I don't. So can I take my lighter with me?
TSA Screener: No sir, you can't. Richard Reid tried to light explosives on a plane back in 2001.
Air Traveler: With a cigarette lighter?
TSA Screener: Uh, no, he used matches.
Air Traveler: Can I take matches with me on my flight?
TSA Screener: Yes sir, four books maximum.
Air Traveler: But no lighters?
TSA Screener: That's right sir, no lighters.
Air Traveler: I feel much safer now. Bless your heart.
TSA Screener: Just doing my job sir.
Air Traveler: Yes you are.

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